Can you be too independent?

by | Career

Wednesday 30 August – Can you be too independent?
We are all different, we look different, age differently and have different approaches to life events. More than one person on this holiday has said that we (as a couple) are a bit kookie. Yes, we do like to do different things, to have adventures, and I think I lead Simon, my husband into trying out the new.

I think this is part of who I am. I remember when I was in my early 20s. I was on a works training course in Chesterfield, and The Clash were playing in Sheffield. I really wanted to see them but no one else did so I went on my own. Why wouldn’t I. The following day people were very surprised that I’d gone alone. But I was fine about it. I wanted to see them and could enjoy it on my own. When we go to festivals we will often split up and go to different stages and meet at one of the bars at a certain time.

So, I’m independent, but can you be too independent?
I think people feel that I’ll always be ok, so don’t offer to help. And because I don’t mind doing things on my own, I’m not always looking for other people to go with. There is a negative side to this, and I wonder if I should work on this. I am quick to show frustration and if I want to go shopping, I know it is easier to just go and do things on my own rather than to go with others. My tendency is to want to fit in with them and to go where I want but being honest, I can find this draining.

I was talking with someone who said she admires my independence and would never do anything on her own – she needs the reassurance of being with other people. I’m now having a concern that if I stay like this, I may reach a point where I am alone and don’t want to be. On this holiday, I’m making more of an effort to talk with others, and to listen, even when I’m fine to sit quietly alone and read a book. And when we walk around if I see others, I’ll talk with them more.

This is my second entry, and these posts are my thoughts on moving on in my life, making reflections and using this on my self-discovery. If this resonates with you, or you want to ask a question feel free to comment, I’d love to hear from you and will respond on here on my Facebook page.

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Denise Taylor

Chief Inspiration Officer, The 50 Plus Coach.