Stop comparing yourself to others?

Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others? It’s not a helpful trait and can lead to disappointment and a dropping of confidence.

I was reminded of this when dancing on Thursday night, up till a couple months ago we enjoyed dance classes but rarely went to a dance. When we did, we tended to sit out, a bit embarrassed to get up on the floor. Others were so much better than us. Even though we knew most had been dancing for years (against our one and a bit years) we felt we should be so much better.

Did this help?
Of course not, we sat on the edge, and left early.
Something has now clicked, and we are much happier with what we can do. Enjoying using the steps we know and appreciating the beauty of others dance.
And when I’m asked to dance, I say thank you rather than starting off by apologising for not being very experienced.
I read an article recently by James Clear which resonated as it used dance as an example. You can read the article here but the key message is

  • You are a poor judge of your own work
  • It is not your job to judge your work
  • It is not your job to compare yourself to others
  • It is your job to create, to share what you offer from where you are right now.

So, whether you are a dancer, an artist, a writer or whatever. Do your work well and put it out there. Otherwise, you will hold back. You will miss out, and the world will miss out.
Do not let your self-judgement stop you from doing your thing.

Stop comparing yourself to others

There will always be someone better than you, and that sets you up to fail. Instead look to yourself to the work you produce and aim to be a little better next time. The race is with yourself, no one else.
Look to what you do but not in judgement, picking things apart looking for all the flaws.
View it instead as a helpful friend, looking for what went well and appreciating that, and noting a couple of actions to consider for next time.

Remember the good stuff

I was talking with one of my clients yesterday about being kind to ourselves, and the importance of recognising positive feedback from others, rather than brushing it off. You know when someone says that you look nice and you say, “this old thing” We should stop that type of comment and say thank you.
It is also useful to write it down so on the days when we question our self-worth, we can review our notebook full of positive comments so you can refer to it again. If you don’t keep a recognition book or a document on your computer, why not start today?

This post was first published on the Amazing People Website. on February 20, 2016

Published On: December 16th, 2017 / Categories: Self-Understanding /

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Denise Taylor

Chief Inspiration Officer, The 50 Plus Coach.