AS A CAREER COACH, AFTER 2 WEEKS ON DATING SITES THIS IS WHAT I HAVE LEARNT
- Treat it like job search create good marketing material. A profile that reflects who you are and appeals to the few rather than be too generic.
- Be proactive don’t wait for people to contact you, get out there and send out a message.
- Read peoples’ profile and ensure that any message shows that you have read it.
- Ignore people who say “Hi gorgeous” or “wink”. They are fishing. You are worth more than that.
- You get what you pay for. After 3 hours on a free site where I got 89 winks or a reply of a couple of words, I deleted my profile. Much happier with one linked to a quality paper.
- Arrange to meet. After a couple who seem to want pen pals I’ve been meeting with people. It’s the only way to find out if there is any chemistry.
- Don’t be hung up on replies if they don’t get back to you there could be many reasons. Move on.
- If it’s not for you, end on a nice note. Who knows what is going on in the other persons life, so be nice. If they say something negative e.g. timewaster?? Wtf? It tells you about them, not you.
- Be optimistic. You never know who you may meet, so go into a first meeting expecting to like the person and enjoy a drink and a chat.
- Keep the first meeting short. I think of it like meeting a head hunter before going on to a first interview. I met B for coffee, and we ended up spending 4 hours together; but if it hadn’t worked out it could have been thanks for coffee and move on. Alas I had lunch with someone when it was clear from first sight he wasn’t for me. I even walked around town with him afterwards. I should have had a maximum time allocated.
- Pay your way. Especially when they have travelled to meet you. You are not looking for a free meal.
- Stay positive. It’s all part of life’s experience. If you get jaded, stop, take time out and come back when you are more positive.