Kitchen Conversation – Being Not Doing – can you do this?

by | Kitchen Conversations

Being Not Doing:

In this video on Being not Doing, I start by saying how my husband and I are very different. He is very good at being not doing. He will sit in the garden and stare into space, listen to the birds and be. But I find it very hard to just go and sit next to him if I know that there are tasks to do. My personality style is that I do all my tasks and then I relax.


The problem I have with being not doing is that some tasks never end and sometimes I never do get to do something social. I focus on work. I know this is a good thing is some respects because it makes me very productive and I get lots done but it’s a bad thing as I spend much more time being than doing. The idea of being not doing is something that I need to work on.

Every now and again I realise this and I get good at being not doing for a while. Then something happens, like I get back from a holiday, there’s a lot of tasks to do, or I get a large consultancy assignment and buff! back into my natural way of behaving.

The reason I wanted to share this is to see what you are like. If you are like my husband, then you may find it hard to appreciate how people can be like me. It’s to appreciate that not everyone can sit and relax, some of us find it really hard – the being not doing. Some people feel the urge to get the task done. Maybe it is helpful to let people know that something is coming up and it can be scheduled into their diary and this can help with managing their tasks.

Being not Doing

We all need down time

And if you are like me, and find it hard to opt for being not doing, then clearly there will be times when you will be happy to work, especially when you love your job.

  • But we all need down time.
  • We need time to relax
  • We need time to recharge our batteries.

Time to think, but really just time to be without any sense that you have to do something. You may want to stare into space but you may also want to read a book, maybe you want to potter, maybe you want to go for a walk, and stroll rather than power walk.

I wanted to get you thinking about what you are like and how easy it is for you to just be.

How can you make yourself someone who focuses on being not doing?

I’d love to hear from you, so do make a comment. If you struggle, like me, I’d love to hear if this is something that you want to work on to enable you to be. Maybe share some challenges and we can all help each other.
This is me, encouraging us all to be human beings, not human doings.

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Denise Taylor

Chief Inspiration Officer, The 50 Plus Coach.