Kitchen Conversation – Being Not Doing – can you do this?

by | Kitchen Conversations

Being Not Doing:

In this video on Being not Doing, I start by saying how my husband and I are very different. He is very good at being not doing. He will sit in the garden and stare into space, listen to the birds and be. But I find it very hard to just go and sit next to him if I know that there are tasks to do. My personality style is that I do all my tasks and then I relax.

The problem I have with being not doing is that some tasks never end and sometimes I never do get to do something social. I focus on work. I know this is a good thing is some respects because it makes me very productive and I get lots done but it’s a bad thing as I spend much more time being than doing. The idea of being not doing is something that I need to work on.

Every now and again I realise this and I get good at being not doing for a while. Then something happens, like I get back from a holiday, there’s a lot of tasks to do, or I get a large consultancy assignment and buff! back into my natural way of behaving.

The reason I wanted to share this is to see what you are like. If you are like my husband, then you may find it hard to appreciate how people can be like me. It’s to appreciate that not everyone can sit and relax, some of us find it really hard – the being not doing. Some people feel the urge to get the task done. Maybe it is helpful to let people know that something is coming up and it can be scheduled into their diary and this can help with managing their tasks.

Being not Doing

We all need down time

And if you are like me, and find it hard to opt for being not doing, then clearly there will be times when you will be happy to work, especially when you love your job.

  • But we all need down time.
  • We need time to relax
  • We need time to recharge our batteries.

Time to think, but really just time to be without any sense that you have to do something. You may want to stare into space but you may also want to read a book, maybe you want to potter, maybe you want to go for a walk, and stroll rather than power walk.

I wanted to get you thinking about what you are like and how easy it is for you to just be.

How can you make yourself someone who focuses on being not doing?

I’d love to hear from you, so do make a comment. If you struggle, like me, I’d love to hear if this is something that you want to work on to enable you to be. Maybe share some challenges and we can all help each other.
This is me, encouraging us all to be human beings, not human doings.

Related Posts
Positive Ageing

Don’t Let These 6 Things Stop You Living Your Best Life as You get Older

Aging: it’s not for the faint-hearted, but let’s be honest, the alternative is worse. As the years tick by, it's...
Read More
Turning 60

20 benefits to getting older

Reduced fear of failure: With age, we often become more resilient and less afraid of taking risks or trying new...
Read More

We should act from compassion

There is something about spending time with Buddhist teachers; they radiate calmness and happiness.  I always feel more at peace....
Read More
Money Retirement

Getting your state pension

Early May, about 4 months before I reach my 66th birthday I received a letter, inviting me to claim for...
Read More
Inspiration Retirement Self-Understanding

Letting go ….

Do we need all our possessions? When we travel – do we travel light? We spend a lifetime collecting possessions....
Read More
Elderhood Longer Term

Life at 80 – how AI will change our future

Let's imagine my future. In less than 15 years I'll be 80! Introduction In the year 2038, as you turn...
Read More
Health & Wellbeing

Improving Health Span: The Key to a Long and Healthy Life

As I review the health chapter of my forthcoming book, I was reminded about the difference between health span and...
Read More

The Mental Health Benefits of Working Beyond Retirement Age

Retirement is often associated with a well-deserved break from work and a chance to enjoy leisure time. However, research suggests...
Read More
Positive Ageing

Positive Ageing

Positive ageing is “the process of maintaining a positive attitude, feeling good about yourself, keeping fit and healthy, and engaging...
Read More
Retirement Self-Understanding

What is a meaningful life?

A meaningful life can be defined as a life that has a sense of purpose, fulfilment, and significance. It is...
Read More
Elderhood Retirement

On turning 90

My mum has recently turned 90, she is now old-old. She is still living independently with the help of carers...
Read More
Ageism Health & Wellbeing Retirement

Stay engaged and involved to increase your well-being

Research from the Sloan Centre on Aging & Work at Boston College has found that when older adults are actively engaged in...
Read More

Do we need to stay working to maintain strong mental health?

I regularly read academic papers to ensure there is an evidence base to the work I do with my clients...
Read More

What makes you feel alive?

I’m just back from a 4 day music festival, the first for 3 years, Bearded Theory in Derbyshire. I was...
Read More
Inspiration Self-Understanding

Featured in the Daily Mail

There's a section, written by me, in the Daily Mail today, Thursday 12 May  - all about how to do...
Read More

The Deferred life plan

Life is for living; you don’t want to defer it until you are retired. I hadn’t realised that I was...
Read More

When should we retire?

It was so much easier in years gone by. Most people retired at 60 or 65. So you had a...
Read More

How to change your mindset to get a job in your 50s or 60s

Writing about retirement, I also need to consider ageing, we are getting older, and also work, people may want or...
Read More
Retirement Turning 60

7 great things about getting older

We can’t separate out ageing from retirement, we are getting older and moving into a different life phase. When young...
Read More
Health & Wellbeing Retirement

Glass half full – you will probably live longer

As we think about retirement, we also think about getting older. Whilst it would be nice to live to a...
Read More

Let’s start to get to know each other.

I’d love to send you a series of articles to get you thinking of your wider life. You will also receive my mid-week 50+ update and the Amazing People newsletter.
Denise Taylor

Chief Inspiration Officer, The 50 Plus Coach.