4 weeks into online dating

This is a follow up to my first post on online dating.

My first meeting was promising, it started with coffee, moved on to a gallery and then more coffee. We’ve continued to meet.

But there have been others

The two who had travelled around 50 miles to meet me and suggested lunch. One wore crumpled clothes and was proud of his frugal approach to life. He then wanted me to be his guide to Cheltenham. The other looked years older than his photo, insisted we ate Japanese and I didn’t like having to eat a soup style dish with chopsticks. In both cases a coffee would have been so much better and lead to an easy get out.

I’ve since learned I should have nipped to the loo, got someone to phone me and used the phone call to get out of the restaurant before eating. Within 5 minutes I knew it unlikely we would gel.

Then there was the one who spent an hour talking about himself, never asked me a question, then the following day sent a message asking me what my work was hadn’t he read my profile? He had my mobile number and had asked me to talk via WhatsApp, I then got bombarded with messages. I took too long to block him as I was trying to be nice.
With another I met for coffee and it felt like a job interview, wanting to know about my education and seemed sniffy that I’d studied part time via the OU so not a proper university he said.

Another I thought I got on well with, really nice messaging back and forth. He lived 100 miles away, said he was happy to come down to Cheltenham and would check into a B&B. I said I was visiting my mum, about 10 miles from where he lived so we could meet for coffee in Cheshire. At that point he went silent on me was I ghosted?

Lumen is getting a lot of press, but most men write very little and their photos do not flatter.

I really don’t understand why people share such poor photos, but maybe this, along with no profile info added means that they haven’t really invested any of themselves into the process, and then wonder why no one contacts them.

I have been getting messages like “you look hot”; “you are gorgeous” but no conversation. Of course, I do not reply.
I’m taking my time, seeking to develop a friendship first. I was astounded, to begin with, with the number of messages I got asking me if I wanted a lover. I guess there are different people with different needs and as at least a third of people on these sites are married, perhaps it is to be expected.

I’ll follow up again in a few weeks’ time.

Published On: February 21st, 2019 / Categories: Relationships /

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Denise Taylor

Chief Inspiration Officer, The 50 Plus Coach.